Here’s a clip from The Soup that inexplicably features a photo of a spaghetti eating cat in the middle of some hard-hitting hot talk journalism.
I get the feeling someone in the crew might have been trying out a new Rickroll.
Did you see today’s news that Telstra are looking for some government film finance for the feature film they are producing based on the ‘Emperor Nasi Goreng / Rabbits’ series of TV commercials?
I don’t really care about the conflict of Telstra applying for government funding, I’m more concerned with the idiots who think the comedy of 10 seconds of this commercial can be sustained over a 90 minute film.
For those who have been living in caves for the last four years, here’s the commercial in question:
Let it go people. It sustained maybe one chuckle when it was released. It’s not a frikkin’ comedy goldmine! It’s a setup and payoff that works once.
I would love to see the screenplay for this film; I bet you the father and son from the commercial have many more wacky misadventures as a result of the Dad’s ignorance. Hilarity ensues! You know what else would be original? Make the Dad a little Aussie battler who triumphs against the greedy fat cats in the end. That’s gold, Jerry, GOLD!
Finally, someone decides to take a stand against Spielberg and Lucas for what they did to Indiana Jones in the last Indy film:
Got to love the South Park guys.
Halfway through watching The Flight Of The Conchords DVD, and this has to be my favourite song within the show so far, and a disappointing exclusion from their CD.
The bone-dry comedic tone of the show is right in my wheelhouse, and Bret and Jemaine are both under-rated comedic genii in my opinion. Looking forward to the second half of the series.
And no, Jemaine, you’re not gay if you put a wig on a sleeping mate and pretend he is a woman whilst spooning him …. I know from experience.
Hands down most ridiculous movie-tie to a burger chain in I have ever seen…
“Inspired by the Dark Knight”? How the hell can a movie be inspiration for a burger??? And what exactly makes a Whopper ‘Dark’? Double cooking the patties? Barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce? An extra pattie made of 100% moral ambiguity?
You know what I hunger for? Advertising companies that don’t treat consumers like we are retarded.
I swear to you, I am not a closet Big Brother fan – I haven’t enjoyed watching it since probably the very first season. But the genuine prospect of a possible 10 out of 10 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale ensured I had to watch tonight’s ‘Pamela Anderson Busts In On Big Brother’ (I preferred the working title, ‘Tit’s Pamela Anderson!”)
But let’s get something straight; despite this being somewhat of a coup for Channel 10, this is not the Pamela Anderson of Baywatch prime. Let’s just say the mileage is showing on Pamela’s rather leathery-looking mug. Unsurprisingly, she still has a rather bouyant looking chest.
The comedy started early with a recap clip showing the housemates casually discussing Baywatch and Pamela Anderson in what looked like eight separate conversations over the last two and a half months! You are kidding me right? And they weren’t prompted to do this by the producers? I can’t remember having one conversation about either in the last 10 years! Apparently this was ‘a coincidence’. Riiiiiight.
Then I had to sit through nearly two hours of mindless drivel as they held a surprise eviction and airhead spoiled-brat Brigitte got dumped ceremoniously. It was like they needed to maintain an average IQ of 60 and the loss of Brigitte meant they were almost equivalent to a mentally handicapped person. Enter Pamela Anderson to restore the balance.
What Pamela will be doing if any of the mansluts in the house try to snuggle with her during the night
Funniest moments of the excruciatingly dragged out show:
* Watching Kyle get shot down when he jokingly asked Anderson if she wanted to hook up before entering. The look on Pamela’s face was about what you would expect for someone who just vomited in their own mouth.
* The housemates arguing about whether or not it really was Pamela Anderson after seeing her briefly for a few moments behind glass (as part of some stupid Paparazzi task they were doing to lead up to this). I was desperately hoping one of them would say, “She looks a bit like her, but older and skankier.”
* Rory not even hesitating to check out her breasts at least six times in eight seconds after greeting Pamela in the diary room. I’m pretty sure he may be suffering from whiplash tomorrow morning.
* Cherrie taking photos on Pamela’s arrival like a 16 year old girl at the Logies Red Carpet. Can’t wait to see him ask her to sign his autograph book.
* Alice proclaiming: “I’m not sunbathing next to her!”
* Pamela asking: “You guys cook your own food?” What, no personal chef? I wonder if she realises she will also need to wipe her own arse.
All in all it was amusing but not as hilarious as expected. Though I suspect her three day stay will definitely provide some comedy nuggets.
Though not an avid watcher, I’ve always been a big fan of South Park’s writing, particularly how relevant they manage to be thanks to the speedy turnaround from script to screen.
For a great laugh, check this out. It’s an episode that very cleverly satirises the recent WGA strike and the theoretical value of internet “celebrities”. The highlight is a fiery battle between said “celebrities” as they wait to pick up the internet money they are owed (for those with small attention spans, jump forward to 12:15 and 14:29 for the best bits). Funny stuff, particularly the return of Afro Ninja and the Scanners powers of the dramatic gopher.
This one ranks very highly on the unintentional comedy scale on its own – it’s My Favourite Martian, Celine Dion, with her reaction to the 2005 Hurricane Katrina tragedy on Larry King – but even better, someone has chosen to do a mash-up of her hysterical comments and the events from Titanic:
Too many funny moments, but perhaps my favourite is the implication that Billy Zane is doing something unsavoury to small children.
And it’s nice to see her heartfelt pleas made an impact:
Try and say that heading three times fast…
It’s not often that cricket is featured here at RTP (and following Australia’s dismal performance in last nights second final, that’s probably a good thing), but one thing that always deserves coverage is a great streak. The only thing that is better than a nude interruption to the cricket is when one of the on-field players decides to intervene in the streaker’s frivolity. Like this:
I thought they were kidding when they mentioned Andrew Symonds trialling with the Broncos, but apparently he does have a bit of rugby league experience. No kidding. Just a lovely hit on everyone’s favourite larrikin, the drunken cricket spectator.
And yes Ritchie, I’m pretty sure he was a boy streaker….
Welcome to the very first Great Rate, a snapshot of our thoughts on the current ‘ratings’ in the world of music, film, and television. I love working out when something jumps the shark into over-rated, moves from under-rated to well appreciated, or is still your favourite secret. So I asked some friends of Real Topeka People to submit their picks for what is underrated, aptly rated, or overrated. Please feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments section.
BAND / MUSICIAN:
Under-rated:
Andy: City and Color – Give it about six months and everyone will be talking about Dallas Green.
Lara: Howling Bells – Juanita Stein is a true Goddess.
Ad: My Morning Jacket – Like Wilco crossed with Radiohead, but with only a fraction of the popularity of either band. Wait a minute, why am I telling you? I like this reasonably vacant bandwagon.
Rated:
Andy: Kings Of Leon – Didn’t realise how big these guys actually were until I saw them at the Hordern recently. The crowd was really enthusiastic about seeing them. Good to see a band get the credit they deserve!
Lara: Josh Pyke – His current popularity at music festivals (his show at Splendour last year was packed) and solo gigs is very well deserved.
Ad: Grinspoon – they have definitely rode the roller coaster of critical and public opinion, but if you want meat and potatoes rock songs with melody, they deliver. And they still know how to put on a solid live show.
Over-rated:
Andy: Bjork – I still don’t get it – if one day the small alien that controls her body from inside her head revealed itself, maybe I will come a little closer to understanding why her music is so frikkin’ weird.
Lara: Rogue Traders – *BARF*… *SPIT*… *VOMIT*.
Ad: Sneaky Sound System – They had the 15th highest selling album in the country last year!! Who the hell is buying their albums? And why?
SONG
Under-rated:
Andy: ‘Minute By Minute’ by Grinspoon – Should have been the equivalent of ‘Straight Lines’ or ‘Lost And Running’. I’m not sure why this song didn’t break through to commercial radio. It has more heart and sincerity than bands anything written by Hinder or Nickelback.
Lara: ‘When The Levee Breaks’ by Led Zeppelin. Why do you think so many musicians/hip hop artists have borrowed from this song over the years? Have you heard John Bonham’s drums?
Ad: ‘Vibrations in Air’ by Josh Pyke – there’s such conviction and pathos in how he sings the chorus of the song, not to mention the beautiful guitar work. My fave track from ‘Memories and Dust’, yet it never even cracked Triple J’s Hottest 100 (although four other songs from the album did).
Rated:
Andy: ‘Superstar’ by Lupe Fiasco - Ironically Lupe dreams about fame and stardom in this song, yet he’s already there! Just another step for Lupe on his walk down the road to being the best hip-hop artist in the world.
Lara: ‘The Pretender’ by Foo Fighters. Yes, it ROCKS.
Ad: Kisschasy’s ‘Opinions Won’t Keep You Warm At Night’ – just a great straight forward pop-rock song, with plenty of hooky guitar and catchy lyrics. Deservingly got heaps of radio play on the commercial stations. Yeah, their range is pretty limited but what they do they do well.
Over-rated:
Andy: ‘Grace Kelly’ by Mika – This song makes me want crash my car into oncoming traffic, especially when he swings that bag of cats in the chorus; hopefully he will fizz out like all the other pop schlop retards.
Lara: ‘Hook Me Up’ by The Veronicas. The kids today seem to love all that is mediocre and vacuous.
Ad: ‘Teenagers’ by My Chemical Romance. It has the musical and lyrical complexity of your average 13 year old; this emo-kid anthem is just tired and boring.
MOVIE
Under-rated:
Andy: Deathproof – Tarantino is the king of cool movies and this is no exception; everything about Deathproof is cool. The way it’s shot, the dialogue, the violence and the gore, and a perfect cast, including Kurt Russell who’s creepy Stunt Man Mike character is like Snake Piskin crossed with Mad Max crossed with Mick Taylor (The Wolf Creek bad guy).
Lara: Into The Wild – Emile and Sean Penn both should have got a Oscar noms, and Eddie Vedder was robbed by the Academy because of some stupid ‘film score guideline’ – best film score in the history of cinema in my opinion! My favourite film of late! All hail Alexander Supertramp!
Nuf: Assasination Of Richard Nixon – An amazing performance from the master of the slow burn. So under-rated it’s not funny (just like most of Penn’s performances)
Mel: Eyes Wide shut. I love this movie (even though I agree that Nicole is ‘over-rated’ ). I just think it’s a really cool, thought provoking, different film.
Ad: Agree heartily with Nuf’s choice, perfect example of a great movie that most have missed. Another one that fits that bill is Narc – just a blistering, intense cop drama, perfectly acted by Jason Patric and Ray Liotta.
Rated:
Andy: Superbad – Very funny film. Haven’t seen Walk Hard yet but it seems everything that Judd Apatow has anything to do with is solid comedy gold. This guy is the future of film comedy; he does what Kevin Smith and the Farrelly Brothers have been doing for quite awhile, but does it better and pushes the envelope. Especially loved Seth Rogen and Bill Hader as the cops and Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the awesomely hilarious McLovin; I dont think theres been a better on-screen geek since Napoleon Dynamite!
Lara: Juno – well deserved of all the praise it’s been receiving.
Nuf: There Will Be Blood. Brilliant. Moving. Powerful, funny (Ad: funny?), emotive. Loved every second.
Mel: Forrest Gump. One my oldest faves.
Ad: Once. I’ve raved and raved about this one at length, and it still holds up on repeated viewings as just the simplest, sweetest, most moving love story of the last few years. I was tempted to list it as under-rated, but the word is starting to spread following Glen and Marketa’s well-deserved Oscar win.
Over-rated:
Andy: Hair Spray- What the f@#k, John Travolta in a fat suit as a woman married to Christopher Walken?? I rest my case.
Lara: Billy Madison – Adam has heard my ‘Adam Sandler is just not funny’ rant many times, and I’m backing it up with my answer here. Sandler’s a good dramatic actor (take Punch Drunk Love as an example), but his supposed comedic films seem aimed at 9 year old boys who laugh at wee wee jokes (Ad: Who doesn’t love wee wee jokes?!)
Nuf: Erin Brockovich – Somehow, most of Earth’s population bought into this, but I dont get it. Just because you’re obnoxious, doesn’t make you strong. Just because you were dumb enough to get knocked up 10000 times by an asshole, doesn’t make you a victim. Just because you swear at educated people, doesn’t make you brave. Just because you push your breasts out, doesn’t make you hot. Just because you ride off the coat tails of other legal professionals (who help you AND BANK YOU EVERY STEP ALONG THE WAY) doesn’t make you a feminist hero! F**k you Erin Brockovich and every Oscar you have ever cashed in on. (Ad: Um, you are aware that it wasn’t a documentary, right Nuf?)
Mel: Definitely goes to No Country For Old Men. Crappiest movie I have seen in LONG time. I was so bored!
Ad: Gladiator. Winner of 5 Oscars, and I don’t think I will ever want to see it again. Way too obvious and stilted.
TV SHOW
Under-rated:
Andy: Robot Chicken. I think it’s hilarious but I know a lot of people who dont agree; guess it just goes back to my love of 80′s cartoons and action figures. Especially loved the Real World Metropolis Sketch where Batman uses the bat signal to get out of washing dishes (thats gold jerry!)
Lara: Six Feet Under. It should have won every award it was nominated for. The most incredible tv show ever produced.
Nuf: Deadwood. A total escape to another time. Brilliant characters and villains, more backstabbing than any soap opera, and balls out violence and language.
Ad: Twin Peaks. David Lynch’s surreal soap opera still stands the test of time, and created one of the all time best TV characters in Dale Cooper.
Rated:
Andy: My Name Is Earl. Love the idea for this show, so simple yet it hasn’t gotten old or repetitive. Jason Lee is perfect in the lead role of Earl and the acting in this show is great; I can’t decide who my favourite character is cause they are all soo funny, especially Earl’s brother played by the slightly slimmer Ethan Suplee and Crab Man, who has the best on-screen afro i’ve ever seen.
Lara: Entourage. Because it’s awesome.
Nuf: The Sopranos – Just Perfection.
Ad: Underbelly. Yep, the hype machine is in full swing for this new Aussie show, but the hype is justified; it’s gritty, nicely shot and features an excellent, authentic cast.
Over-rated:
Andy: Australian Idol – Responsible for a lot of the crap you hear on commercial radio these days, even though the so-called artists generally fade into obscurity (I think i saw Millsy scanning my groceries through at coles the other day!)
Lara: Futurama. Oh my god – Soooooo NOT funny.
Nuf: The O.C – Seriously, this type of show is done every 2 to 3 years and every time we are told how “fresh” it is. We aren’t THAT dumb. (Ad: Some of us are!)
Ad: It Takes Two – maybe it’s just Channel 7, but everytime I see anything from this show it always looks like it was shot at the local RSL. And that cast of so-called ‘celebrities’ is pretty damn thin (John Mangos??)
ACTOR
Under-rated:
Andy: Jason Bateman – Talk about a comeback, If you have this guy involved in your Movie/T.V show you’re pretty much on a winning ticket, He stole the show in Arrested Development and was great in Juno and The Break Up – oh and who can forget Teen Wolf 2!!!
Lara: Emile Hirsch – The next Leo.
Nuf: Shia LaBeouf: Charisma, talent and a kick ass attitude. He makes anything watchable and enjoyable. (Ad: Yeah, but he does have a habit of repeating “No!”)
Ad: Vince Vaughn. He’s got this reputation for being a one note comedic guy, but if you check out his IMDB page, he’s actually done a wide variety of roles and is surprisingly versatile. Anyone who can pull off Norman Bates (Psycho remake), a dedicated FBI Agent (The Cell), Trent from Swingers AND Wes Mantooth should be considered one of film’s best character actors.
Rated:
Andy: Jeremy Piven – If you dont know who Ari Gold is then head to your nearest JB Hi-Fi and buy Season 1 of Entourage, you’ve got some viewing to do!
Lara: Matt Damon – I mean, just look at how well he pulls off “I’m @#%ing Matt Damon”.
Nuf: Jake Gyllenhaal: The next superstar.
Ad: Phillip Seymour Hoffman – Pheymour (as I know him) has become universally accepted as the best character actor in the biz. It’s about time.
Over-rated:
Andy: Johnny Depp – Oh my god how over-rated is this guy; oscar noms every year for disney movies and musicals, his face on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine nearly every frikkin issue and to my utter disgust, i just flicked through a special edition of Total Film and saw that in the 100 greatest movie characters of all time, Jack Sparrow came in at number 1! (beating Darth Vader, James Bond, Travis Bickle and about 96 other awesome characters that would beat the shit out of his drag queen pirate character any day of the week and twice on sundays, phew…. glad i got that out of my sytem!!) (Ad: Yeah… Me too…)
Lara: John Travolta – Let’s face it, he’s just a shit actor.
Ad: Jack Nicholson. Somewhere around the year 2000 Jack decided “Screw it, I’m just going to be ME in every movie.” Which is cool in a way, but I don’t think he can be considered in the same league as the guy who embodied Jack Torrance (The Shining) or Col. Jessup (A Few Good Men).
ACTRESS
Under-rated:
Andy: Ellen Page – Dont worry i think this is all about to change very soon, Juno Rocks 
Lara: Sarah Polley – Such an amazing talent, though most people wouldn’t even know who she was.
Ad: Zooey Deschanel – unbelievable voice, beautiful, chooses a cool variety of roles – my favourite under-the-radar performer.
Rated:
Andy: Sarah Silverman – I love this chick so much, she makes me laugh till i pee. To see what im talking about check out the Pamela Anderson Roast.
Lara: Natalie Portman – The bitch has the whole package…brains, talent, stunning looks and she’s just plain cool.
Ad:
Over-rated:
Andy: Judi Dench. Oh, I’m sorry, I best refer to her proper title: Academy Award Winning Old Crusty Dame Judi Dench.
Lara: Nicole Kidman – As far as I’m concerned she’s the poor man’s Naomi Watts. And can I please give an honourable mention to Sandra Bullock, The Queen Of Mediocrity!?!
Nuf: Lindsay Lohan – The only Lindsay worth riding is the bus service that took me and Ad to school in the 90′s.
Ad: Katherine Heigl – Had the balls to criticise the makers of ‘Knocked Up’ for making her character one dimensional. Really? That had nothing to do with your performance which was about as lively as the Mannequin from ‘Mannequin’? I can think of 100 actresses who could have done more with that role.
CURRENT FAD / TREND:
Under- rated:
Andy: Getting your mono-brow trimmed, come on guys you look like Sesame Street Characters!
Lara: Brooches on jackets/vests/cardigans (for women of course). I love wearing my mum’s old brooches, they add old world character to any garment.
Nuf: Hitting Emo kids in the face – why aren’t more people doing this?
Ad: 1940′s hats – very cool accessory.
Rated:
Andy: Z-flex Skateboards: I know im about ten years late but these are soo much fun!
Lara: Cons – Have and always will be rated well for their comfort and relaxed style.
Nuf: Fisting the Creams in the Daniel Spa.
Ad: Youtube – I am still in awe of it. Anyone who reads this page knows I probably spend an hour on it a day. Just ridiculously addictive.
Over-rated:
Andy: New Era style hats – The guys who buy these hats are going to be soo dissapointed when they get home and realise that there not A: Black or B: a Gangster Rapper!
Lara: Fluoro everything – why??!!
Nuf: Wearing cheap fluro sunglasses to intentionally make you look stupid. Everyone knows you’re waving the white flag – “I know I naturally look like a dick, so I am INTENTIONALLY going to look like a dick, then hopefully, you will think it’s an accident”. Dude, bottom line is – you look like a dick.
Ad: “Vote For Pedro” shirts. Time’s up. You missed the boat. Sorry.