Real Topeka People

Time for another vent… this one for the people who care wayyyyy too much about the look of their car, but who are also too cheap to afford a really good car. Yep, I’m talking about the tools who modify their crappy low-budget cars.

More often than not these people also think they are only one lucky break away from becoming a Formula One driver. They weave through traffic at a dangerously high speed, thinking everyone must be marvelling at how cool their car is and how great a driver they are when really, nearly everyone is laughing at them. They also normally have some sort of ridiculously large tacky decal on the back window that promotes how fast they are, like SUPERJET or SPEEDBABE.

I’m talking about the people who do this kind of crap to their junky Daewoo, shitty Mitsubishi, or dorky Hyundai Excel:

These retards spent $17K on a car then spent an additional $20K on rims, spoilers, paint, and a stereo system so powerful it can turn the brain of the driver to jelly (fortunately not a problem for these losers).

And they probably paid for this crap on credit. Here’s a tip morons: take that money and buy yourself a clue.

Sidenote: Whilst doing in-depth research on this rant I found this total wank of a website where people can post pics of their modified cars - only people are obviously taking the piss and posting stuff like this. Awesome. If you read the comments of the posts like this, some of the rocket scientists who are users of the site are genuinely outraged at the quality of the mods. Let’s give them geniuses a slow clap.

Time to launch a new category of posts I’m calling Grizzly Adam, where I can rant about something that is driving me nuts…. my first topic has been on the boil for a long time: Concert Photography.

I think it’s time we established new rules at concert venues: each person can use their camera or cameraphone for a maximum duration of 30 seconds, at which time they need to holster that sucker for at least ten minutes. This needs to be done to address the mindless camera zombies who stand for an entire concert with their arm stretched over their head in order to snap 300 horrible photos, 1 semi-decent photo, and hours of blurry, jittery footage that is going straight onto Youtube for no-one but themselves to look at (I know if I’m searching for Youtube footage I immediately skip over all the preview frames that look like the Zapruder footage).

We’ve become a society so obsessed with capturing the moment in grainy glory that we are forgetting to appreciate it while it is happening. I blame the digital age. Now that digital memory is so cheap, people think nothing of shooting 500 photos in a night (and if only 5 of them turn out to be good, well, who cares!). Do you think there’s many people shooting film at these concerts?

Yes, I understand the irony of this photo….

Now I know in the past I’ve been just as guilty as those whom I am pointing the finger at. But I’ve changed. I now consciously try to limit my photography to less than a dozen pics during the concert. I know I’m not going to get photos anywhere near as good as Daniel Boud, so I don’t try. Plus, I paid good money to go see a concert, I really should be present for it and not worrying about whether or not I am on the right low light setting or if my close up is going to be in focus.

I’m also not talking about the semi-pro photographers / bloggers (like my lovely wife or Wayne @ Oceansneverlisten.blogspot.com). These people have pro quality cameras, try to keep out the other concert-goers way, are generally pretty considerate about taking their photos, and are using their photos to tell a story about the gig. I’m talking about the cretins who have to have the camera running when their favourite song is being played, even if they spend most of the time with one eye on the glowing LCD screen; the same LCD screen that joins with all the others to form a see of LCD candles that, unlike the atmospheric, candle-like cigarette lighters of old, only serves to detract people’s eyes from the stage.

I don’t know how I am going to convince these camera zombies to follow my lead though. As I said earlier, it’s not about NOT taking photos. I like to capture a few frames of the concert for the day when my memory has been totally erased by alcohol. But to stand through the whole concert with your arm up in front of the person behind you is just bloody rude.