Real Topeka People

You’ve gotta have a bit of knowledge of the source material to get the humour - here’s an alternative universe version of ‘Watchmen’ had it been made into a Saturday morning kid’s cartoon.

Part of me is laughing at these morons at affiliate TV station WKRC-TV in Cincinatti, but another part of me is pretty certain that this is the exact kind of thing I would end up doing if I was in their position.

“I was actually rapping!”

Check out this clip from ‘Extras’, where Kate Winslet gets spookily prescient with her reasoning behind choosing to star in a ‘Holocaust movie’ (like ‘The Reader’, for which she just won the Best Actress Academy Award):

Clever girl. I’m sure Cuba Gooding Jnr has his agent on the phone at the moment….

This post was drafted but not posted last week, before my server went down….

Apparently Mel Gibson is sporting this interesting new look for an upcoming movie.

Are we sure it’s not a Colonel Sanders bio-pic?

It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel live to beat me to the punch….

“Finger Lickin’ Dead.” Love it.

I don’t view George Lucas as ‘the Antichrist’, or think that he ‘raped my childhood’, but I can agree with a lot of the sentiment in the trailer for this upcoming documentary. Particularly the evident disappointment in the voice of the subject who reveals Lucas’ ‘pile of scripts’ that he really wanted to make but never did. It’s crazy to make him into a deity for what was 15 years of well-made popcorn films (a period spanning ‘American Graffiti’ to ‘The Last Crusade’), but it’s also clear that his output in recent years has been devoid of the ingenuity and obvious love for storytelling that marked his early works. Perhaps one day he will return to those ‘passion projects’. With his power and wealth, there really seems to be no excuse for him to do so, but fear.

And sure, I’m not accusing him of defiling my childhood but I would like my $15 and two hours back after last years ‘Crystal Skull’ travesty (I’m laying most of the blame on Lucas, not Spielberg, as he was apparently the brains behind the imbecilic plot). This ‘trailer’ is pretty much how I remember the film (spoiler warning):

I still contend that ‘vine swinging with the monkeys’ sequence was the worst part of that film, but this ‘trailer’ reminds me that it has stiff competition.

Wow. Performance piece or pure discomfort and apathy? Publicity stunt or reluctant fulfilment of contractual obligation?

Whatever side of the coin you land on (and I’d love to hear opinions), Joaquin Phoenix’s Letterman appearance will certainly go down as one of the most memorable. The vitriol directed at him by Letterman and the crowd was definitely not staged in my opinion.

Phoenix has been riding a wave of publicity since his announcement that ‘Two Lovers’, the film he was ‘promoting’ on Letterman, would be his last as an actor. Back in January he announced he was giving up film to focus on music, more specifically a hip-hop album that Sean Combs was producing. Casey Affleck then announced his debut film as director would be a ‘documentary’ of this process.

The skeptical reaction to Phoenix’s shambolic publicity appearances in the last few weeks is that Affleck and Phoenix are crafting a subversive Andy-Kauffman-meets-Borat style mockumentary and this is all fodder for the cameras.

My personal opinion is that Joaquin has probably had enough of the movie business ‘game’ and wanted something different creatively. Affleck could probably see the appealing drama and conflict inherent in this move, particularly the inevitable media backlash, and saw that it would provide some interesting material for a documentary. I don’t think Phoenix is making a calculated attempt to create comedy out of his new persona; I think he is simply holding up a mirror to show how we treat celebrities who no longer fit into the mold we have built for them. He’s clearly frustrated and angered by the Letterman audience, who it should be said are acting like cretins. His ‘what are they on?’ line had me nodding in sympathy. Dave was no doubt pissed, but isn’t Phoenix simply pointing out the fallacy of many of these talk show ‘interviews’; with no intention to ’sell’ something, his presence is superfluous.

Then again, this could all turn out to be an elaborate prank and I just got punk’d. But I somehow don’t think so….

I started this last year with a review of the Super Bowl 42 commercials, and thought I should again break out a rundown of my favourite and least favourite ads from this years Super Bowl (see them all here. thanks to the wonders of YouTube).

The Best

Denny’s Thugs

Love the juxtaposition of the ominous Sopranos-esque meeting and the goofy decorations on their breakfasts. Plus Denny’s were giving away a free Grand Slam to anyone in America on one particular morning?!? Just another reason to love my favourite American diner.

Swedish Conan Ad

“Conan, this is only going to be seen in Sweden.” Every celebrity should know that nothing stays in Sweden nowadays. This one sneaks in just for the red fishnet singlet and pink bunny ears Conan is wearing in the first shot of the ‘Swedish’ commercial.

Race to Witch Mountain:

Out of all the movie teasers that played during Super Bowl, this was the one that just looked the coolest (I’m not including Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe). If I was twelve years old I would be wetting my pants in excitement over this film. The Rock is a very underrated comedy/action star.

Pretty disappointing trailers for ‘Year One’ and ‘Land Of The Lost’ (and I refuse to get my hopes up for ‘Angels And Demons’ after the ridiculous ‘Da Vinci Code’).

Bridgestone Astronauts

Reminds me of Seinfeld’s “driving on the moon” bit. It also had a nice little pay-off at the end.

Free Doritos

Works mainly due to the physical comedy of the ‘crystal ball dude’. And I’m a sucker for a good ‘nut shot’ joke.

Bud Light Meeting

Hey, he deserved it….

Miller’s 1 Second Ad:

Probably my favourite ad, just for the ingenuity. For one tenth of the cost of a 30-sec commercial (still an estimated $300000), Miller probably got just as much recognition for this 1 second commercial. A lesson for all of us in these gloomy economic times.

Plus I get the feeling with our attention spans rapidly dwindling this is what all commercials will be in the year 2020; just a bombardment of 60 product names in 60 seconds.

The Worst

Cash for Gold

This is just depressing. I thought this was a gag ad until about halfway through when I realised this site is legit. I know they are trying to be funny, but I’m pretty sure Hammer and Ed McMahon are really clients. Man, talk about gloomy economic times - you know things are REALLY tough when you start thinking about smelting your wife’s bracelets for cash.

Fast & Furious

And I thought the first movie was stupid…. Looks like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are both getting desperate for money. “A lot has changed.” “Yeah Right.” I expected Vin Diesel to add “we still don’t have careers.”

Also, I can’t work out what this movie is called. Fast & Furious? Fast & The Furious? Isn’t it a sequel? Where’s the 2? I would look it up but I don’t want to burn any more calories on this ridiculous film.

Ashleymadison.com

Not only is this commercial really poorly made, I also think the whole concept of AshleyMadison.com is deplorable (it’s a website where you can review prospective partners to cheat on your wife with and organise your affair online). Hooray for adultery!

Hulu.Com

I actually really liked this ad (Alec Baldwin is always on his game). The only reason it made the worst is I am disgusted we don’t have access to this yet outside of the U.S. (and not only that, now they are region-screening some Youtube clips!). I will save my energy for a Grizzly Adam rant on this topic, but I am majorly p.o.’d that I am missing out on such a great brain-mooshing resource.

Check out the youtube gallery and chime in with some of your favourites.

Only just caught up with this transfixing and hilarious audio captured a few months back on the set of the new Terminator film, ‘T4: Salvation’. Seems Christian Bale got ticked off when DP Shane Hurlbut came into his sight line one too many times whilst they were shooting a scene. Bale then proceeded to verbally rip this guy a new one. Of course, he was mic’d up at the time and the whole thing was captured on tape - and now you can listen to it, thanks to TMZ.

Language Alert: Bale unleashes his potty-mouth on this guy. The link is not suitable for those with delicate sensibilities. You’ve been warned.

I’m sure this is not a rare occurrence on big budget film sets, and I’m sure that it’s this sort of intensity that underlies Bale’s prodigious acting ability. I loved director McG’s input to the fracas too - basically “hey, leave me out of it.”

Some clever dude named RevoLucian came up with this nice little dance mix to immortalise the exchange:

From the very funny boys at ‘The Lonely Island’, the first single from their debut album ‘Incredibad’:

It feels a bit like they’ve jumped onto the coattails of Flight of the Conchords, but these guys have actually been doing stuff like this for years. I highly recommend checking out the shorts on their page, and the pilot for their TV show that didn’t get picked up, ‘Awesometown’.

I am glad that it wasn’t just me that felt that way at the end of The Sixth Sense.

Thanks to DK for the heads up!

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